Dear family and friends,
Just a note to let you know what has been happening in my life this past year since Ed's passing into the arms of his Lord and Savior on July 20, 2008.
It has been a year of finding and holding onto my faith in my God. I won't say that there were not times when I was mad at God for taking my husband of 5 years and best friend for 8 years. I had days where I really wanted to hate God, but being the rational and educated individual that I am and having taught a Grief Share class, I knew it to be a temporary thing and part of the grieving process. I know that when Ed passed that day many prayers were answered for his healing. He could not be healed on earth so he is now completely whole and in his new glorified body beholding God, his father in heaven.
Since his death there have been and continue to be many times where I have to find my faith and hold tight to it. If it weren't for the teaching of Ed and the strength and teaching of Joey, I don't know where I would be today. They both taught me that I do not have to do everything in my own power but to pray and expect God to take care of everything. I find that hard to do sometimes as I am such a "solve it" personality. Here are a few times where God has come through.
When Ed was in the hospital: God provided a very very expensive medicine at a $15. copay. It took the social worker and Dr's to ask on my behalf and God gave us favor.
While in the hospital that last month there was no money coming in. It was only by Gods blessing and friends who slipped me a few dollars here and there that I was able to put gas in my car and get food to eat at the hospital.
After Ed's passing, Our church paid the majority of the cremation cost and his men's group paid the remainder. An anonymous source paid for his obituary. I had nothing and God provided everything.
At the memorial service many blessed me with funds that allowed me to catch up on my bills which were 2 or 3 months behind and payoff some items.
For the next 6 months or more, I had no income at all. Joey found a job taking a man to and from work for $50.00 a week and this put gas in the car and allowed us to buy food for the animals. (God thank you for the love of our pets. I don't know where I would be without them to hug and love me.) We researched food banks and received the food we needed from them and I found that I was eligible for city contract health care at Shands Hospital. I was able to have my gall bladder removed, my asthma taken care of, all my diabetes meds and supplies covered and other sorts of health stuff seen to. All by the Grace of God and my faith that he would be there to take care of me.
I have been living in the condo for two years now without paying a mortgage payment. Only by the Grace of God have I not been foreclosed on yet. We are diligently searching for work to be able to move to Tampa and know that God has it all worked out. We just have to have faith and walk the path he sets in front of us.
I have received many miracles this past year. The Kia and Acaida have been paid off. The Jeep was already paid for. I have been able to pay for auto insurance and tags. I was able to have our animals spade/neutered at no cost. We had a friend take us to the grocery store and buy a buggy load of food for us. We have been blessed with many good friend who loves us, and one who has us over to his home each week for dinner. I have been able to keep our power on and phones paid. I have had some funds come in that allowed us to get things we wanted that have made us smile and helped us through these trying times. I am healthy. I have a roof over my head and a warm/cool place to sleep. God has given me laughter, love, and friendship through this trying year. It only takes a little faith on my part and He blesses abundantly.
Joey and I are still living together and on August 1st we will be having an engagement ceremony and plan to marry in August 2010. He is my best friend. He helps me boost my faith when he sees it lacking. He has introduced me to his spiritual mentors and they have become mine as well. He has shown me it is ok to love and laugh through the hard times and that you can grieve and heal and still live and love. He has added to the teachings on faith and God that my husband started. He has shown wisdom and caring and encouragement when I was to depressed that I did not want to get out of bed, let alone leave the house. He stays with me when I need to go to the emergency room and attends Drs appointments with me. He makes sure that I take my insulin. He makes me laugh and challenges me intellectually. We both love to read, play chess, and go to the flea markets. We love being together. He has not replaced Ed but instead enhances the many memories I have of him and that we have with him together. We both miss Ed but would not want to draw him back to us and away from the joy of being in heaven.
We still have challenges ahead, such as finding jobs and moving out of the condo. I have faith that the Holy Spirit will guide us and that doors will continue to open and we will move forward in the light of God.
Thank you and many blessing to those who have prayed for and helped us this past year and who continue to pray for us. It is only by prayer that we have made it this far and have faith to move ahead.
All my love